Thursday, June 30, 2005

The Saga Begins

A long, long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn
Could talk the federation into
Maybe cutting them a little slack
But their response, it didn't thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass
We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the Queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That's where we found this boy...

Oh my my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

Did you know this junkyard slave
Isn't even old enough to shave
And he can use the Force, they say
Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen
Though he's just nine and she's fourteen
Yah, he's probably gonna marry her someday
Well, I knew he built C-3PO
And I've heard how fast his pod can go
And we were broke, it's true
So we made a wager or two
He was a prepubescent flyin' ace
And the minute Jabba started off that race
Well, I knew who would win first place
Oh yes, it was our boy

We started singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

Now we finally got to Coruscant
The Jedi Council we knew would want
To see how good the boy could be
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale
And he might fulfill that prophecy
Oh, the Council was impressed, of course
Could he bring balance to the Force?
They interview the kid
Oh, training they forbid
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear
And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here"
"Just stick it in your pointy ear"
"I still will teach this boy"

He was singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

We caught a ride back to Naboo
'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to
I frankly would've liked to stay
We all fought in that epic war
And it wasn't long at all before
Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day
And in the end some Gunguns died
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried
A lot of folks were croakin'
The battle droids were broken
And the Jedi I admire most
Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast
Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost
I guess I'll train this boy

And I was singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

We were singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"


by
Wierd Al

sleepover

oooh I can't wait there is a sleepover round Jedi Aaylas house *sighs* cough cough sorry Its my uh, hay fever, yeah my hay fever thats it, it makes my chest go a bit wheezy sometimes. I've been spending the last few days wondering around outside in just my speedos trying to gat a nice tan. (thats the terrible thing about these robes you never tan.) I have also been doing some weights to try and improve my physique, you know get rid of the beer belly, I want to look my best for my little hunnie bunnie uh by which I mean the council of course.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Yoda

I was looking up the nutritional value of cheetos this morning when I came across this.
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No wonder yoda complains that I eat to much of them and should stop, he's secretly working for them! One way ticket to Sith world that it! going behind a fellow jedis back! Every year I apply to work for their company and they say no. NO? NO? how can they say no to a handsom young Jedi such as myself and yes to the 900 year old snot pile?? Its not fair! and I'm sure he knows something about my twin! He sniggers every time I mention it! And this general grevious guy keeps telling me that he had him in captivity but threw him away during the spring cleaning! Aaaaagh wheres my wrestling DVD........ ah there it is, and where are my cheetos..... oh over there right. I'm off for a bit of therapy.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Qui - gon

I'm really starting to miss my old master, I thought I could cope with it if I focused on training Anakin but recently I've been feeling like he's around but i can't see him. I also thought I heard his voice this morning in the shower, I've talked to my girlfriend uuuuh I mean Jedi Aayla about this but she hasn't felt his presence or heard him in the shower, I'm realy at a loss at what to do. I really miss Qui and his brownies, I think this is why I got into wrestling to fill the gap but I would give up everything to see him again (well with the exception of beer). I tried to talk to yoda about this but he was in a really grumpy mood, something about dead jedi scaring him "new robe, I shall need. Of it, the cheek. Mmmph. Do this to others, I would not " I also tried to talk to Mace but he only wants to talk about his problems. Any way Aayla suggested that I remember the happy moments for us together, so here goes.
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The family photo

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The master/padawan race at sports day

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Qui cutting chunks out of my hair with the lightsaber

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At the water park on holiday

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Padme saving us all from that big mouse at disney world.

Excuse me, *cries*

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Holiday

Yes!! Woo hoo!! I'm off on holiday, well kinda, I'm going to that cave I found on Tatooine needs a bit more decorating, me and Anakin are on a mission to drink as much beer as possible so I can put the empty cans through Yoda's dishwasher and use them to construct tables, chairs, wallpaper perhaps? So far we’ve made a panel for the back of my wardrobe its looking good Image hosted by Photobucket.com and I’ve also put a chute in the corner so that when I’ve finished with a can I can throw it down the chute straight into the recycling! And who said I wasn’t clever?

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Mace

Flooming ewok brained excuse of a jedi! I let mace wash my speeder, being the good mate that I am and he washed the windscreen with the wax wash! Everytime I put the washer on it smears and I can't see a thing. Anyway I'd just arrived at the jedi temple and he was all over me like huh were mates now, wow y'know I've never been liked before (yeah can see why macey boy) he then proceded top be all over me and in the council he kept sugesting me for missions, hence I have a mission to find missing Jedi Aayla, locate and destroy death star jr (the death glow worm), dispand bandits on Tatooine and empty the canteen bins on thursday! I'll wash my own speeder from now on, or perhaps I shall get one of those intern things that Yoda's got, oooh but I'd have to feed him and clean him out and stuff. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Padme

What a lovely girl that padme is, bless her, she's helping me look for my twin. Everyone at the temple is all "you have no twin, look into your heart you know it to be true" but all thats in my heart is cheetos, speeders and wrestling *cries* anyway shes been having a terrible time recently with Pink fluffy things that look like this Image hosted by Photobucket.comCute they may be but vicious, one bit me on the finger! anyway these pink fluffy things invaded her wardrobe and wore all her clothes and ate her lipstic, (she also thinks that they stole her Brittany Spears cd's but I know that was Yoda because I found them under his pillow whilst looking for beer) and shes had to sort out all the problems that Jar Jar caused with the photo copier and Aaylas not talking to her, come to think of it shes not talking to me either, I wonder where she is? It was going well between us two, midnight lightsaber practice, clubbin, pubbin, walks by the lake... havn't seen fluke around much either..... OMG I get it! how could she! Well anyway I've got to get going promised Mace he could wash my speeder, after all its what mates do.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Photo album

Everyone seems to be having a dig at me so I thought I would get the photo album out.

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Jar Jar and his sword eating (6 hours down A&E we spent)

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The time we told Aayla her bum was too big so she tried to cut it down a bit with her light saber

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Mace in a little number. (Lucky he has the legs for it)

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Qui-gon's not the only stoner

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The time storm troopers crashed our party and used the pool (what a great bunch of guys)

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Yoda last christmas

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When we thought it would be good to dip Qui-gon in carbonite

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Yodas not the only one scared of spiders.

Sorry ^_^ ~v

Sorry I've been away for a while, I was on Tatooine looking for my twin and I found this delightful little cave, been decorating it in case I ever need to go into hideing or just take a break from my padawan.

Twin update 2

No luck no new links, Starting to lose hope, perhaps it was a sith trick to turn me to the dark side *must stay strong*

Speeder Update

Pilferd some fluffy pink dice for it. Don't tell yoda

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Twin update 1

Anakin returned this morning from the search I sent him on and he had the following links

  • Dantooine
  • Calamari
  • Hoth
  • Travin
  • Aaragau
  • Kessel
  • Endor
  • Tatooine
This is really strange Ive been to all these places within the last few weeks, my twin was so close and I never realised! I also searched the security recordings in hope of seeing him you'd be suprised some of the things people do when they think no one is watching! And Anakin for goodnes sake If your going to secretly date Padmé behind the councils back, DON'T DO IT INFRONT OF A CCTV CAMERA! oh and I didn't find my twin either.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Speeder updates

Remember that speeder I bought? Ive knocked the dents out, replaced a panel, welded the bits that need welding and sprayed it fire engine red. I also bought a new registration and had plates made by this Han Solo chap, they came back with a funny logo on, havn't a clue what it is, never mind eh? it looks good. Here are the plates Image hosted by Photobucket.com and here is how the speeder looks Image hosted by Photobucket.com all I have to do now is put in a new sound system. Happy days

Twins?

I was walking through Milton Keynes (A city on the planet Earth) this morning when I found I was looking at a very handsome fellow on a market stall. Image hosted by Photobucket.com It then struck me that I have an identical twin! and whats more He is also Jedi! I've looked in the Archieves but there are no traces of any other Kenobi's, however, I don't trust the achieves after the Kamino incident so I've sent Anakin out with a copy of this picture asking questions. I shall keep you updated with my search. I've always wanted a brother, I'm so excited!!!!!!

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Speeders, boots and Padme

Just picked up the new speeder. It's great, very fast, very maneuverable, very dented, held together with galactic gum.I got my foot stuck in it and tore my boot! So off I went to the shoe shop to buy a new pair and I bumped into padme, of course passed the blame onto yoda, what would padme think of me if I said it was me using a banned substance? I'd be in a sticky situation, stickier in fact than the time that sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun. Also I am sure she is onto the fact that the jedi council told me to stalk... um I mean of course to observe her movements and can I just say that her friend is really pretty! I mean Woah on a scale of one to ten I'd give her a twelve! Of course as a Jedi Knight nothing more than polite admiration could come of this. Oops sorry where was I? Its the gum fumes gone to my head, now I know why its banned. Ah yes my assignment I have also uncovered the whereabouts of young skywalker on saturday nights! Out with his friends from Padwan class he is not! Is that a ring I see on Padme's finger? Bless my light saber it is! Wait until that boy gets home! We will be having strict words.
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And whats that bump? I hope they haven't been stealing again... If I've told him once I've told him a thousand times he can borrow money from me! Why Anakin why?

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Todays real post.

WOO HOO I got it! I put in a bid for 150 credits. I'm just on my way to pick it up now. I decided to go in person because I've heard stories about jedi being ripped off on ebay, some people are just so uncivilized. Anyway the owner says that it has a sound system in it but shall need some repairs as will the vehicle in general and I have his word that its not two speeders welded together in the middle. I'm not sure whether to take Anakin with me, the boy is an excellent pilot but may decide that its his new play thing and I'd never see it again. mmmmm?

Not funny anymore. Infact, it never was.

I set up this blog because I read Master Yodas blog and nearly died of laughter. This site is intended to be for everyone, younglings read this page and they do not need to learn certain things until they are older. Infact they are Jedi, they do not need to learn them at all. I am very happy that so many people are posting on my site and I thank you very much for your interaction, It makes posting new ideas much easier . But please please keep your TV consumer habits to yourself, I don't know whether you think you are funny or not but the majority of people are bored of a completely unrelated topic popping up all the time. It is unnecessary, uncouth and above all unwanted. If it happens again I shall send Anakin round to claim one of your limbs.

Have a nice day

Friday, June 10, 2005

Speeder

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I've recently been thinking about purchasing a new speeder, I saw this one on ebay.ccnt for 200 credits. Its a bit battered and dirty but I'm sure that I can work on it. what are peoples opinion on this, after all it will be raced at my parties and so everyone will have to be around it. Maybe I could put in some turbo engines......

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Questions that need answering

1. Anonymous said...
Have you ever worn a kilt?
Answer: No
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No, i've never worn a kilt.

2. Anonymous said...
How come you always wear that same old robe everyday?
Answer: I don't. I have many robes and I alternate them. The Jedi council like us to dress the same everyday, I think it makes us easier to identify. Or perhaps it is because Mace only has one set of robes and doesn't want to look out of place in the same kit everyday.


Mr Anonymous, may I ask what your obsession with my clothes is about?

3. I just remembered-have you been keeping up with the Jackson trial? What's your take? Anyway you can mind whammy a guilty verdict?
Answer. It is not the Jedi way to interfere with the courts. Who is Jackson? Is he that Sith lord that captured Yoda?

4. What do cows drink?
Answer. MILK!!!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Argumentation

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Yoda, it seems, is not very happy about the party. Something about tyre tracks he was muttering on about, I reckon he is just upset because I didn't invite him. Well why would I he's a health hazard! Id rather let Anakin chop my hands off. (He's been thinking about that alot recently. I check on him just before I go to bed and hes always fast asleep muttering about hands and how many(I think he may need some mental help)) Anyway the point is, if I invited Yoda, he would be tripped over, used a a football, run over by a speeder and continuously picked up and huged by the girls (and thats my job). He would then spend the next month complaining about it and would tell me the story of how he went shoping in Mothercare and was accosted by all the Mothers and grandmothers out buying 'Baby Booties' for their younglings.

And I don't look anything like Grizzly Adems. there is a difference between a bit of manly stuble and a beard, although I am content with his choices of comparison as it is indubitable that I am the most handsome chap there.
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Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Damn I'm so Hot

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I have been reading Master Yoda's blog recently and I belive that 8 out of 10 women find my devilishly attractive.

But then 5 out of 4 people do have problems with fractions.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Uuuuuuuuuurgh

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Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh. Hungover. And I have to go to work. Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh. And my punctuation has gone to Wookie droppings. Sure I should be using commas. oh well Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh Any one wish to tell me what happend?

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Party

Ok, I'm organising a party. It will be held at Yoda's Dagobah holiday home. Tonight at 7.
Bring beer, speeders, padawans if you have them. (I won't be bringing mine because he is a horrible brat.)
yes Jon bring lots of Mountain Dew (It is no longer available on Coruscant and I don't have enough time to fly to Tatoonie) Tell your friends, tell your friends friends , and their brothers,sisters, pet wookie everyone. Storm troopers and Sith lords accepted.
oooh been offered private party with someone who looks like the Sith lord Maddona!! sorry will have to turn this one down. Mace would kill me if he found out I had a date and he didn't and Yoda would not be too chuffed with me dating the enemy

Friday, June 03, 2005

Go away

Go away, I'm watching Smackdown. Go and speak to Yoda. Funny little guy, 900 years old and never bothered to learn how to correctly construct a sentence.